Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
