I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
