I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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