shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
