Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
