so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
