The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
