I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
