.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
