Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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