They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
