whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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