he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
