Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no, he came in my armpit
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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