Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
