I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
