To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
