Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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