Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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