How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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