wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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