why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
