hell yes lets make some ravioli
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
