ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
