I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
