And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
