I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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