Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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