I hate your face
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
