if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
