yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
