Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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