im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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