when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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