dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
