You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
