Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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