Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
