Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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