My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
