Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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