All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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