We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
