If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
