Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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