i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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