Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
