my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
