I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
