Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
