my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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