1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
