She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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