my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
