So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
