It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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