She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
