And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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