there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
