Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
