guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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