im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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