it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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