hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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